Gears and anxiety
I’d been saving up all weekend to take on a number of issues this morning. Upon Monday’s arrival I was ready to fall out of bed and take things on, but I had failed to have anything in the house for breakfast. Ugh. I have to go out. Coffee delayed. Shower/dress, walk to bakery/deli. Settle in at the library. Have to eat instead of executing. So unsettled.
Many of the things I needed to get done are done, but again my focus seemed rattled.
Before walking out the door I felt the anxiety building. Took a pill. Now I feel stuck.
It’s not even noon and the day feels lost.
The good news is that the trip for later this week to hit four new states is set. Car is reserved for a ridiculously cheap price plus gas is around $1.50. Memphis plans are settled. A bed is reserved in the Bayou across the street from the venue for $18, done. New Orleans has a few gaps yet, but I trust that’ll be good soon. Nashville is the logistical nightmare still because I’ll be getting in a lot later than expected, but at least when that happens it remains flexible too. That’s one thing I wanted to do different on this trip was to keep it flexible, even though the reservations I’ve made already firms it up quite a bit.
Still, it’s a transition. Shifting gears day after day when I’m trying to keep things calm. It’s weird how difficult it is to keep something as simple as calmness takes to maintain. Acquiring the needed things to maintain the calm causes me chaos and even having more time helps, but not enough. I need to look into some alternatives just for getting groceries for example. Just going to Kroger is enough to put me over the edge.
Off to Kroger I go…