Putting out the fires

Yesterday was my first full day in about a week where I was able to settle in and take care of some pending matters that I rightfully chose to ignore over the holiday. Disability, banking, bills, and other minor things giving me the itch. I scratched those things off my list before I once again made plans to make another trip home to welcome in 2016, a year I never thought I’d live to see. And here we are just a day or so away.

I got what I assume is my CT scan results in my inbox this morning. I’ve opted not to open them until either after the arrival of 2016 or maybe even wait till I meet with my doctor on Monday. I’m so in tune with my body that I pretty much know how bad it could be, but hopefully I’ll be pleasantly surprised shocked. The pit in my stomach, my decreased appetite, and weird bodily functions seem to be alarming symptoms that were all too reminiscent of my pre-diagnosis days.

I couldn’t expect my response to the chemotherapy to last forever I suppose even though I wished/hoped for much longer before it went wild again. Perhaps anxiety is the root cause of my symptoms, which has turned my blood pressure way up too. So, I can’t fully conclude yet that it has ‘went wild’. Walking the tight rope of the unknown has been a constant unwelcome battle along the way. The mental battle has been about as bad as the physical battle.

I’m still finding comfort in the past year of my accomplishments not only in my travels, but grasping everything I could to make it memorable in so many ways. I still have a long way to go to close some gaps with people and places. I was on the verge yesterday of making a more concise/local bucket list in the likely event I move from Cincy in the next few months. I’ve never explored the Carew Tower observation deck (waiting for the sun to reappear), the 4th & Vine Building, and revisits to Krohn, art museum, and Union Terminal just to name a few.

Next month I get a chance once again to see the Packers in the playoffs, but more importantly watch the Bengals hopefully make a long playoff run not only for my comfort, but to see my nephew, Max, see the Bengals win a playoff game in his lifetime and be able to witness it. I was really bummed last year when they once again lost their first game. I just need ONE WIN, guys.

Today I’m dedicating to exploring some new music and maybe some reading before tomorrow takes off into the last breadth of the holiday rumble. I’m looking forward to having most of my ‘weekend’ to myself before likely taking more trips home if the weather cooperates to watch football with the family depending how deep ‘my teams’ stay in.

Till then, unless I get the itch to post again this year, Happy 2016!


About jeffbedel

Indiana native that moved to Cincinnati in January 2012. Former trivia host, beer snob, foodie, non-conformist.

Posted on December 30, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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