Sleeping on it
After a night of sleeping on the news I received yesterday it’s still a hard pill to swallow. After feeling so invincible over the past several months it sucks to have the opposite feeling creeping back into your psyche. This morning my sausage tasted way too salty, another tell tale sign that something has physically changed. I started taking my steroid pills again in hopes that will calm my chemo crash tomorrow a bit. Maybe that’s what I’ve been lacking in the past couple months. I only stopped because I felt it was contributing to my weight gain. I’m almost down about 10 pounds so I don’t think that’s an issue any longer. Keeping it up will be the battle again.
This Tuesday before Christmas still brings a multitude of things I have to get done before tomorrow with the assumption of my chemo crash setting in. Last minute shopping, car rental reservation, and I’m sure things I’m forgetting at the moment. It’s going to be do, do, do for the next week or so. Then regardless of my diagnosis turn, I need to make preparations of making my home not only more conducive to writing, but begin purging stuff in likely preparations of moving. I wanted to assure, especially if I’m unable, to not leave such a burden on others of moving my stuff when it becomes necessary.
I have the worst feeling that this cancer rebound is going to be swift.
I have places to see, things to write, and people still to see. I still need to see the outcome of an election.
Hope, maybe clinical trials, or other management purposes will buy me some time. Hope is all I’ve got.