“That Monday”: Part 2

This post will serve two purposes. One of course to tell you about only another piece about a long day, but also something else that gets under my skin almost daily that collided with this day in particular; sidewalk etiquette.

Yes, Your Sidewalk Etiquette Could be Better

Could be better? How about learning about sidewalk etiquette before you even go outside? I know, for those of you who have no use for sidewalks because you only enter your car from your driveway/garage to the closest parking spot possible to your destination don’t even know that sidewalk etiquette even exists. Most of my co-workers are like this and only use the sidewalk to get to lunch (that is if that place is like a block away because walking is for suckers). I once made the mistake of walking with these assholes on lunch and were walking 4-5 abreast therefore making a human roadblock on the sidewalk. The worst two, yet most common scenarios with groups on the sidewalk is when you encounter both oncoming, and behind them. You would think coming upon the human roadblock on the sidewalk would result in a portion the roadblock to heed room for an oncoming person…no……quite the contrary. The look at you as if you would be causing a disturbance in the force and would become separated from and lost in the city forever if they didn’t side with their friends. Why can’t you fucking move over, submit for two seconds behind your asshole friends? Then there is the getting caught behind the ever slow-moving human roadblock. You can either try to walk around them (usually in the street) at a faster pace, whistle, or even yell at them for being ignorant dumbasses.

Usually I’m a bit more subtle about my encounter with these people, but I was in no mood for this shit on that Monday.

On my way to Kroger on my lunch I just walked really fast and just generally ignored the sidewalk cloggers. For whatever reason on my way back from Kroger to work I wasn’t being as kind, maybe because I hit more of the larger roadblocks (3+) instead of the easier couples. The madder at got, the faster I walked and the more I said. “Pick a side!”, “Get the fuck over!”, “Quit taking the whole fucking sidewalk!” are the ones I remember. They were generally surprised and of course said things to me I couldn’t hear, but I didn’t care. Regardless of what they said, I do hope I placed a seed in their heads that maybe next time they are more cognizant about their sidewalk etiquette, but I highly doubt it. They’ll just talk about the fat guy that could walk faster than them that was upset about being in their way.

By time I got back to the office building and tried to chill for 15-20 minutes of my remaining lunch hour I realized that my anger had reached a fever pitch. Dangerous territory. I returned to my desk and settled back in hopes of the remainder of this day being quick and painless.

The copier I spoke about in the previous post it turns out wasn’t minor. The I saw the technician pull a shredded part and the only thing she could do was leave a note that it wasn’t going to be repaired till tomorrow. Dammit. This was really throwing a wrench in my day. Given I wasn’t going to be creating anymore mail (it’s about 2:30), I needed to get up and get the little mail I had produced that day off my desk. I usually don’t do this till around 4 o’ clock before the mailroom guy comes back from giving the receptionist a break, but for whatever reason against my instincts I opted to take a chance to perhaps have an encounter with him mid-day. Why is this such an issue? Because I can’t go anywhere in the hall/sidewalk/mailroom/break room and he has to start some asinine small talk conversation which usually results in some outlandish tall tale. Most days I can’t deal with his shit, and I knew today I wasn’t going to be able to keep my anger in. I left to go to the mailroom anyhow.

I blew up before I ever even got to the mailroom.

Another regular visitor, from another floor mind you, is “nice shirt guy”. he is always prancing around in payroll. He used to visit me regularly until I blew up at him one day about his stupid shirt comments. So, you know, I feel like he has had plenty of warning shots since then as I have  barely acknowledged him since. But, that day he figured I was fair game because I was in the hallway heading to the mailroom instead of my desk. At the moment he began to talk and wave at me from 20 yards down the hall I starting going off like a pack of Black Cats. “Don’t fuckin’ talk to me, don’t ever fucking talk to me, and please keep that going on a daily basis” is pretty much what I said as I continued walking from the hallway into the mailroom where the mailroom guy was present. Maybe I killed two birds with one stone that day. Maybe they FINALLY understood why now I walked around in my bubble.

I’m not sure who heard me, what consequences were in store, etc., but I went from fear and anxiety about my cancer making a turn, to holy fuck, what if I lose my job?!

Things seemed pretty normal for the rest of the day. I took my break and tried to process freely away from the office environment for a whopping 15 minutes. I got back about 4pm and all I wanted was 5pm to arrive with no major incidents, conflicts, and the sort. I got my wish for the most part. It just so happened though at 5pm that I was in the middle of a little project and opted to go ahead and stay 15 minutes over to finish it. At 5:05 apparently it was assumed I had left for the day. At about then or about 5:10 I was finished with my project and opted to go to the bathroom. I’m not sure what happened exactly but as I was about to enter the bathroom I saw “nice shirt guy” barrel into the payroll office and going off. I sit right at the entrance of the office (if I had been sitting there), so I don’t know if he walked in expecting to see me, or if he was letting off steam with my manager and/or supervisor. Either way I went ahead and took my piss in the safety of the bathroom.

I didn’t know what to expect when I did return to the office, but it seemed weird. My manager looked shaken, and my supervisor would not look at me eye to eye. I picked up my stuff and said goodbye not knowing if I was going to be able to return the next day.

Finally. I walked out of the building, walked home, and despite the outcome of mine or his potential outburst everything had changed. I was home. Whew! I had made it home regardless. I was safe!

Then I got greedy.

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About jeffbedel

Indiana native that moved to Cincinnati in January 2012. Former trivia host, beer snob, foodie, non-conformist.

Posted on August 30, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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