Gravity’s Bringing Us Down

After looking forward to returning to my hometown to see my family for a long Thanksgiving weekend I’ve been back in Milwaukee for a mere two hours for the most part reflecting on my visit and it’s not sitting well.

First, my previous post in Cincinnati was supposed to be the beginning of catching up in the downtime I was expecting; that didn’t happen.  Though I made one of the two visits to some extended family and spent some time upgrading my sisters computer I pretty much didn’t do anything but sleep and eat.  One of the things I thought about was trying to come up with something meaningful during our Thanksgiving tradition of what we are thankful for.  This time I was prepared but because of a family political rift I had to be delicate and in turn my thankfulness fizzled.  I wanted to make light of the election of Barack Obama but just left it at the “new administration”.  In essence what I shared was being thankful for my parents for giving us the talent and education to be able to thrive in the poor economy and for their parents and those before them who also were a part of leading us to who we are today.  I think as I was saying it perhaps I was second guessing what I was saying as I looked around at some of ignorance that still existed.  I clammored and ate my dinner.

Second, the India tragedy hit closer to home than I realized.  My brother-in-law is half Indian; his father actually from India.  His parents were both in Mumbai in the past couple months (who were both celebrating Thanksgiving with us for about the 5th year) and were very shaken by the terrorist events.  I didn’t think much about it till I came home and starting processing the end of my trip and watching more about the attack.  With all the time on Facebook I never saw I status update in regards to the attacks.  It made me realize we are not as connected to the country and also that this country has become a major player in our world and is significant in our attempts in the future for peace.  It’s a grand “multi-ethnic democracy” that our current president even recognizes in light of this terrible event.  We’ve become to understand a lot more about countries such as China for example and once we have a better understanding of our shrinking planet we may become better, educated and understanding individuals.

Third, I’ve realized I’ve lost touch and need to improve so many aspects of my life.  My world revolves around so many irrelevant things and mostly around me.  My trip home was anything but fruitful and the product of me living far from home and out of sight, out of mind leaves a huge empty hole in my heart, life, and family.  I’ve always wanted more and have been the product of many successes to move away and beyond to bigger and better things but in the grand scheme of things I’ve gotten only smaller and perhaps disconnected to reality.

It sucks coming home to my own status quo; my empty apartment besides a cat who actually missed me and really nowhere to go or nobody to call that I’m back.  The only outlet I have is this blog I’ve created in hopes of venting to a scant few who even knows this blogs exists.  It’s only here it seems for my benefit and not to educate of benefit others.

Finally, in a positive sense, this blog I hope if I can actually focus and find my groove will be a place where I can broadcast what is going on around me like I first intended, but in retrospect it’s what is just revolving around me in my own little world. 😦

I need to go out for a walk and enjoy the lights and sights that have been up since I’ve been gone instead of eating peanuts and drinking beer.

I’ll maybe let you know what I found out there, gravity pending.


About jeffbedel

Indiana native that moved to Cincinnati in January 2012. Former trivia host, beer snob, foodie, non-conformist.

Posted on November 29, 2008, in Just me and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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